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Wednesday, 11 October 2006 06:32

Candidate's Lone Issue is that She Had Sex With Packers Football Team. . . and the Republican Party is Behind Her!

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Some stories just write themselves. Especially when Republicans are involved.

The newest is Sandy Sullivan, the 65-year-old Republican nominee for secretary of state in Wisconsin. With no political experience, her sole claim to fame rests on her 2004 memoir titled "Green Bay Love Stories and Other Affairs," in which she recalls an allegedly bountiful sexual history with members of the Packers football team during the '60s.

Sullivan's website features no other policy position or agenda. "For this office, there are no issues," she says in a video linked from her homepage. Luckily, she offers these comforting words to prospective voters: "I'm somewhat on thin ice because I don't know what I'm doing." Her online bio proudly lists her "Life-long passion for, and friendship with, Vince Lombardi's Green Bay Packers" as personal background.

After all, it's not what you know, it's who you "know." In football terms, one might say this is either a case of illegal procedure or too many men on the field.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Sullivan's website prominently features a picture of her standing next to Packers legend Bart Starr, along with his encouragement. More revealing are the endorsements of two former Republican Governors:

"I am confident that you have the experience and positive vision necessary to help make the state a better place. I know that you are qualified to hold public office because of your outstanding work as an educator and author." - Tommy Thompson (also former Secretary of Health and Human Services in the Bush Administration)
"I am wholeheartedly endorsing you for this office. . . I know you will place the best interests of the people of Wisconsin first." - Lee S. Dreyfus

It appears that these famous Wisonsinites are also trying to get a piece of the action. Not to be left out, even the current head of the state's Republican Party, Rick Wiley, is getting behind Sullivan, who Wiley says serves a "useful civic purpose."

"She's been a fantastic candidate for an office that not many people take a long look at," he said. "Everyone has a past out there," he noted, perhaps with George Bush in mind (hey, Bush was a cheerleader). One can only imagine what Rick Wiley was doing during the '60s.

What in the world is wrong with Republicans these days? They support a candidate running solely on a platform that she has fornicated with members of Green Bay's beloved football team, and cybersex with young boys is so unexceptional that those who knew about it found no need to act. And that doesn't even touch on the massive corruption.

Could we be seeing a case of trickle-down ethics? Bush and his cronies have set a miserable example for their party and the rest of the nation. Even Katherine Harris was shunned by the leadership, but Sandy Sullivan gets a glowing endorsement? The Republicans have some major issues, and not in a good way.